i'm watching teen titans. erm, there's this pair of characters that are one positive and one negative. and they go very fast when they touch each other...but they speak spanish and their really funny. haha...so small and cute. i watch already wanna laugh.

ok lah. going out soon.

"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" - Relient K

I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can’t let that happen again‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.

Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won’t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I’ve been‘cause who I’ve been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I’m ready to try and never become that way again
‘cause who I am hates who I’ve been.
Who I am hates who I’ve been.

how much do these guitarists give up to persue their dreams. but i look at the joy of being able to perform in front of these hordes of people and to them at that time it's probably all worth it. been thinking what it feels like to perform at that level. being at a concert and watching them play would probably be a very exhilerating but performing would probably be on another level by itself. makes me want to write a song for myself. to be able to write such beautiful songs with touching lyrics must really be a gift.

probably means i have to put more effort into practicing. got a couple of songs i'll try to master these couple of weeks. once i get these things done, i think my "vocab" would be much better and hopefully i'll have more confidence. backed up by learning more rifts and theory will make me a better guitarist by the end of december by when i have to be ready for the next round of gruelling times in school. of course i have to put more HEART into it...hmm...

ok...off to continue with my U2 concert.

so i'm done with the dreaded exams. where's the excitement and joy supposed to come with it? sigh...probably killed by how badly i know i screwed this econs paper. been trying so hard not to think about it but it doesn't work.

i know the rest of the world will probably tell me it's over so i should so forget it. so what more need i say, or can i say? let's just wait till the dreadful results appear before i start feeling lousy again.

had this big pig-out fest today. went to ikea for meatballs, fish & chips and chicken wings...not forgetting the GREEN broccoli soup. haha weird funny drea made such a big fuss out of the soup. it was green...so? later i drove us down to town and we saw this pair of green coloured graffitti shoes and all of us exclaimed together "BROCCOLI soup!". later we went to billy bombers for shakes...wow they were NICE LOR. i tell you, i'll be heading there again soon for this yummy nice stuff. *droools*

now that the darn exams are over, i should feel so happy. well, i am...now that i can go read my guitar theory in ultimate peace without feeling guilty. there's a certain degree of joy to that. i sms-ed mrsT today "when you wanna go for coffee?" she replied in like less than 1 minute "come and fetch me now". made me laugh till i nearly dropped my phone. but of course i couldn't cos i was with the bunch of fools somewhere around singapore making a scene. so told her probably sometime in the next couple of days.

will be going to TWN this wednesday for about a week. those like jh who want me to buy stuff...i'll try lah, but no promises whatsoever. i remember how i screwed up shilin's request for me to buy stuff for her the last time i was in JAP. so don't count on it ok? haha...i feel so bad. kinda looking forward to this holiday, going to use it as an opportunity to clear my head...

going to pack up the mess i made in my room too preparing it for next sem's messing up again. i've resigned to the fact that this is a cycle and there's no getting rid of the messiness that is to come. but at least i need to make space for the mess to form right?

ALRIGHT! i can finally go take my PINK guitar theory book, sit on my bed, chill out, listen to 98.7 and read in peace at my own pace. laid back is the way to do it. i'm outta here.

oh and if anyone wants to go out in the next couple of days before wednesday just feel free to drop me a sms.

i look at guitarists like steve vai and i wonder how fast their fingers move up and down that fretboard. people like joe satriani are so inhuman. i wish one day i can play like that...music connecting with your soul. it's simply amazing just watching them play...the day i can play like that (if that day actually comes) will probably be the day i don't mind performing for people in front of this big huge crowd.

never been so entertained and interested by an instrument before. i think even if i don't learn saxaphone in this lifetime, the guitar is enough.

econs LATER (to think i haven't studied macro). wonder how much i can remember. this may prove to be fatal. but i'm just going to go in and see what i can make up and literally smoke my way through (hope i don't raze the place to the ground). why am i still awake? i have just decided i will push my chances and do a bit more reading and hope like siao i won't fall asleep during the paper later.

anyway, nice song with nice guitar rift (tempting me once again to get the FX-pedal) sighs.

Perfect Situation - Weezer

What's the deal with my brain?
Why am I so obviously insane?
In a perfect situation
I let love down the drain.
There's the pitch, slow and straight.
All I have to do is swing
and I'm the hero, but I'm the zero.

Hungry nights, once again
Now it's getting unbelievable.
'Cause I could not have it better,
But I just can't get no play
From the girls, all around
As they search the night for someone to hold onto.
I just pass through...

Get your hands off the girl,
Can't you see that she belongs to me?
And I don't appreciate this excess company.
Though I can't satisfy all the needs she has
And so she starts to wander...Can you blame her?

let's see. what did i do today? sleep and jam...oh and wrote a bit of song...wonder whether i'll get it out.
sometimes even i wonder if i've finished my exams. i just started on reading my econs notes and i can feel a headache brewing. what's wrong with me? this laziness issue has been getting from bad to worse...

looks like we'll be allocated our subjects again next sem. and looks like i won't be able to start on my minor again next sem due to clashes in timetable AGAIN. sigh...but this time it's not as bad a clash as this sem. just that...aiyah i'll see how, hope that i can go fix this lousy schedule of mine. but of course, i hope to stay with my TG cos they simply rock...rare to find people who click with each other so easily.

reminds me of what my primary 6 FT once told us. at that time there was a lack of unity in our class cos it was made up of people of 2 classes from p5. there was a shuffle due to some complex matters (streaming...if you know what i mean). she said "we all didn't choose to be together as a class...since you all already are, might as well make the most out of it instead of making each other's lives miserable...who knows, there maybe a reason for you all coming together and we might get something out of it...". and that was the beginning of one of the most united classes i ever had in my life till today we meet up. oh wells. time sure flies since primary 6 was almost 7 years ago. sighs.

ok, i'm off to blog at the other side.
then probably going to get some panadol and see if i can get anymore work done. growls. my head hurts.

i MAY change my blog layout soon. hmm...any suggestions? oh wells...not like blog traffic is high. so it's not really that important. and i need to look for a new nice layout for B12's blog too...so maybe a shun4 bian4 thing. if i happen to stumble on anything nice, i just may change this.

the weather has been WONDERFUL today. nice day to SLEEP. which was exactly what i've done. woke up, went to get lunch, ate, slept, woke up, talked to several people on msn, ate dinner and went back to sleep. oh my life is so fulfilling. and guess what i'm going to do after finishing this post? need i say more. haha.

it does not help when the whole world other than yourself seems to be done with their exams. and it does not feel good when you go to some supermarket where it's playing christmas songs and the thought that pops in your head is "do i have a paper tomorrow?". in fact, it's DEPRESSING. and everytime i see mrsT (not that i've seen her many times...say twice the most?) she keeps asking me when's my last paper so we can go drink coffee together. haha maybe sometimes she's more impatient than me. hey i need my life back! stupid exams...&*%$#(*....

i'm not studying but i'm not having fun. this is more miserable than studying. so in a way, i'm torturing myself i guess. i don't know what i'm doing again. seems like i'm stuck between doing something and doing nothing.

i want to buy FX-pedal board!
oh man~it's so cool!
someone spare me $800 so that i can go swee lee tomorrow!
if not a stomp box will do...i want wah-wah effects now.

sigh then again, any pedal board will do. but the above is my dream one. i want a FX!!! arh! will see what i can do this holidays...maybe can upgrade my playing equipment...new toys! santa you hear me???

DC's not funny when he's sick (though he tried to be). but then again, being sick isn't funny. poor dude's throat was real bad. sigh i think he should have just called off lesson. but then, it'd be 3 weeks without EG for me so maybe lucky he didn't.

cos he was sick then he was late (or so i believe was the reason). we were just making a fool of ourselves in the studio, grabbing cables from the flower pot etc...then trying out all the funny thing in ray's guitar pack...in the end, DC showed us a lot of stuff...like the whammy bar (which we wanted to stick in ray's ears at first)...then we learnt about a "dive-bomb" and etc...cool. it's interesting how the guitar strings can become so slack, haha it was scary to me man, thought ray was going to have to buy a new guitar. then he demo-ed a bit of steve vai's kinda playing which was really amazing. erm...what else? so many things i can't remember off-hand.

anyway we did practice drills and another exam piece (which i think we did before) today...looks like we won't be learning any new songs for a while. oh yeah, my class has levelled-up! haha...so fun.

ok back to my planned schedule...TV time.

DID I SIT FOR THE RIGHT PAPER TODAY??!!
i thought i was supposed to sit for FE1005. why did it seem like a maths paper? nearly every other question was "derive...", "prove...", "calculate..."
WHY? sigh talk about killing my interest. i couldn't integrate my equation. i don't even know if i was supposed to integrate it. so both ways, doesn't look good. grrrs.

ok off to lunch. then coming back to jam till 5pm (5 hours practice...DC watch out!) heh. then off to EG and back again to watch what's left of harry potter on channel 5. then rest a while and watch las vegas at 11pm. i've got my day all planned out. the last thing i want to think about was the maths material science paper i took just now. EEEEEW.

ok so i hope all goes smoothly tomorrow. it's the return to the warzone. i don't like it when my uncle says it's all so easy...cos it isn't exactly. oh wells. shall not take it too hard. I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER PHASE DIAGRAM AFTER TOMORROW (my uncle says i won't...haha)

dinner today was simply insufficient. still hungry. but i need to sleep before tomorrow's paper. arghs...will try to sleep with an empty stomach. grrowls. gonna have big breakfast tomorrow.

haha interesting concept i came up with. after the Os, my bro has attained some sort of enlightenment whereby he has become an immortal, not needing to eat, sleep or go to the toilet (well if he needs to, he RUNS). where was this sense of urgency when the exams were on? it is so stunningly amazing. heh.

YAY EG tmr! at least that's something to look forward to...ok off to sleep.

You Are Internal - Realist - Powerful

You feel your life is controlled internally.If you want something, you make it happen.You don't wait around for things to go your way.You value your independence and don't like others to have control. You are a realist when it comes to luck.You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random.You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you...But you do your best to try to make your own luck. When it comes to who's in charge, it's you.Life is a kingdom, and you're the grand ruler.You don't care much about what others think.But they better care what you think!

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.That doesn't mean you don't rock out...You just rock out with meaning.For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

Your Birthdate: April 15

You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things.You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle.Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home.You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak. Your strength: Your intense optimism Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents Your power color: Jade Your power symbol: Flower Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Your Career Type: Investigative

You are precise, scientific, and intellectual.Your talents lie in understanding and solving math and science problems. You would make an excellent: Architect - Biologist - ChemistDentist - Electrical Technician - MathematicianMedical Technician - Meteorologist - PharmacistPhysician - Surveyor - Veterinarian The worst career options for your are enterprising careers, like lawyer or real estate agent.

What's" Your Ideal Career?

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT) You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy! Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally. You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals. In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent. At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia. With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well. As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly. On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

Your Element is Earth

Your power color: yellow Your energy: balancing Your season: changing of seasons Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends.You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems.Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones.Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful.

What Element Are You?

so there is no such thing as a prodigy. or it's so very rare. cos...even Slash practices 12 hours a day. DC practices 5 hours a day. so...for me to reach a nice decent standard means i have to set aside 2 hours a day. and considering that i can only jam in the day cos i want to be a considerate neighbour.

sigh. i hope that i can cut down the number of things i have to do next year. and hopefully less distraction means better performances for everything. hope my hypothesis proves correct.

watching i am sam on channel 5. it just started but i quite like it so far (anything's better than studying). i hope i don't see another phase diagram in my life after monday. yucks. ok back to the show.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down...
Now it's too late to turn it around...
You made it clear when you said "________"

a craig david song rip-off...
wonder why this lyrics hit me the first time i heard it. though not the original lyrics...the one that went thru my brain (or what's there).

oh wells fill in the blanks with your own imagination. BUT...
all characters are fictional and any resemblence to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

told you i keep thinking weird/funny thoughts liao. must be all the studying (or lack of for that matter). i even wonder if anyone will understand this post.

oh did i mention i can play the new BSB song? "crawing back"
the guitar's pretty cool, just strum strum strum...
hmm think i should quit listening to the sappy stuff. it's affecting my sanity. oww.

i have 48 hours or thereabouts to my next paper. and what am i doing? doing class blog. sigh the lack of motivation is fatal. when the class blog is done then i'll link this over.

today's such a sleepy day. didn't know what to do. i still have like half of material science and 90% of econs to do. i don't want to ever touch econs again after friday. counting down the days man. i've had enough. wonder if i'll be able to finish studying at this rate. arghh.

sigh it's dinner time. now that the Os are over, i need to have my own dinner alone. what crap.

why...why am i here and going looney. must be cos i'm too free when i'm not supposed to be. aiyah. i'm so sleepy yet not sleepy...supposed to be studying yet not studying.

i've learnt Sweet Child O Mine till the first few bars of the solo. think i'm going to learn the rest (i.e. the fast part) when the exams are over. not like i'm studying now...but learning the rest now will ensure that i won't study AT ALL which is the last thing i need.

after jamming, there's this metallic smell on my hands and i like it. the mark(s) of a guitarist. i think my hands look like they've been shreded and i'm proud of it. the sense of touch of my left hand is totally gone. so guitarists are a sadistic bunch. but i still think it's getting more and more fun. the addictive part is when you aim for perfection...and you almost get it...then you say you must do it again cos you'll get it the next time. but you don't then you try again and again and again...but i can feel myself getting better cos now i get stuff faster. like when i learn a rift i master the thing faster. it's shiok-ness ok, cos the tedious part is gone. now just got to master alternate picking and i feel much more confident.

staying at home without B12 pacing me is really bad. oh wells.

i don't like the song 9 million bicycles. i think it's ridiculous. hmm...gives me the impression that the composer is trying to hao lian his supposed knowledge of facts.

weird thoughts weird thoughts...why do i keep thinking weird thoughts. at least i still have the capability to think, shows that my brain hasn't gone all rusty. weird dreams too...maybe cos i've been sleeping too much.

that's it...my major post-exam activity would be studying guitar and music theory. aim to get all my scales up by next year, so that my rifting and soloing (rift and solo playing) will improve. rather than just playing songs and following notes. not to mention catch up on the stuff that i still haven't got this sem...like kinetic and static friction. sigh so much to do but such a short holiday...by the time i come back from TWN it'll be mid of second week already. then considering all the chalets and catchup sessions...think i'll be left with barely a week to myself. wonder how much i'll actually get done. glad that EG is still part of my life.

but i'll be missing 2 weeks of EG. this mon will be the last before i disappear for 2 weeks. eeew. wonder what DC will say. or he won't even notice i'm gone. actually it's just one week missed cos the other week laoD says he's working (wonder wonder where?!) too bad i don't know where or else can go support...i'm of legal age after all rite...so whatever club doesn't matter.

on the brighter side of things, i seem to have got my sleep pattern fixed. haha i sleep at 12-1am and wake up at 8am. woah, it's been a long time since i saw the sun in the sky. heh. but mornings are unproductive. so i doubt it's any better than my usual lifestyle. maybe just that i seem more normal.

ok lah off to dinner. then back to TV. haha.

ooh so interesting...didn't know my old buddy QY's in medicine. haha. found out utterly by accident. oh wells...the smart dudes i know. seesh~ not another one man...

today we did exam piece. yes, EG also got exam piece lor...but too bad i'm not taking exams this year. i wonder if i should next year cos so many things were unsettled. but i think i will...once i put down some other commitment, then i'll have more time to devote to practicing then i think i'll go for it. why not right? it'll help me boost my confidence when i pass...maybe can even jump grade. and maybe can even get a nice pass with merit *grin grin grin*

lame joke of the day?

DC: ok first you start, then you play play play, play till you see me...then you go back to the start and blah blah
US: huh?
DC: there (points to the "D.C")! yeah that's me.
US: 0.0" 0.0" 0.0"

guess it doesn't make much sense to those who don't understand tao gay or read music for that matter...so never mind. DC oh DC why must you be so lame. think he's intentionally slowing down (by a lot) for this particular person in our class...wonder how long the rest will tolerate this. and wonder how long this person will last. heh. think they're on the verge of suan-ing him already lah...haha.

i've been exceptionally nasty this few days. not that i want to...but cos everyone seems to be just poking me and pushing my buttons. it started with the b*tch at J8 carpark that day, after that everything got worse and everyone seemed to be trying to take advantage of me giving way. so i've stopped being nice (at least for now).

yesterday i was at the TP at this cafe place for dinner. the place sold bread on the outside of the shop front...so at the counter most of the people queued to pay for their bread. i joined the queue to place my order at the cashier. i believe it was because i wasn't holding any tray of bread even though i was in the queue. this auntie behind me kept moving forward and kept pushing me. so i went forward a bit...but she kept on pushing. i got kind pissed...but just tahan-ed. but she not only kept on pushing, she jabbed me with her tray...and she kept on jabbing into my spine. it was bloody ASSAULT lah...WTF.

i turned around and stared at her. but the stupid woman kept doing that...but she didn't freaking care, she cut my queue assuming that i wasn't buying any food. i was super super super tempted to just smash her tray to the ground. but i didn't want to make a scene...partly cos the queue was very long and people behind me were impatient. secondly cos there were many people i know who were around.

mrH and mrsLwere around the place but i didn't say hi to them. i felt so GRRRRRRS that day i didn't want to say hi to anyone. just wanted to eat my food and go home. now i kinda feel bad cos i didn't...but what to do. sighs. all the stupid auntie's fault.

don't understand what i did to keep running into these people who have no brains...but i'm sorry to all those who kenah-ed from me that day just cos of these dumb people. e.g. the "carry-over" tone that i talked to the cashier with initially (if you know what i mean).

Guns & Roses - Sweet Child O Mine

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long I'd probably break down and cry

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

as i said, i don't know whether i want to laugh or cry after my physics. because i simply don't know what i was doing to know how i did.

after the paper went out with el, daren, XH, And, ZM, JY and the rest to JP "de-stress". don't know why i should de-stress when i haven't even been mugging in the first place. i don't deserve it. sat in JP seoul garden for like 3 hours eating like pigs.

and i've learnt a very important lesson...i don't think going to a all-you-can-eat restaurant with these guys is not a good idea. well, i ate till i was on the verge of exploding/imploding and they kept saying stupid things that made everyone laugh like siao. nearly puked. heh.

after makan we went to the arcade to play daytona cos el wanted it. haha...ended up like touring both arcades. playing nearly everything in both of them...

came home and jammed a bit...till my E-string snapped. i don't know why i've been snapping so many string these couple of days. could it be my way of re-stringing? sighs...think maybe better check with DC, at this rate i may just cut my face one of these days. guitar strings are dangerous things...

aiyah really so tired now think i'm going to skip dinner and go sleep.

is this some curse? everytime before phy paper i tend to fall sick. no matter what kind or format. and i think this time it's going to cost me bad. but i wonder if i can even make it home alive. the rock that hit my head (refer to last entry) hasn't gone away and i think the it may have been a comet or a meteor cos i've got a freakin' fever. couldn't even do any jamming today.

i have yet to do finish my physics. first time i feel so clueless about what's going to be tested for this subject...and tomorrow's the EXAM (not even test). good grief. my head can't hold up cos whenever i use my head and think (i.e. when study must run thru the concept in my brain) it feels so inflamed can literally feel it burn. nope and panadol does not help.

that's it i'm going to continue ploughing thru my files now, it's 12:30am i doubt i'll be able to finish even half of thermodynamics but i've gotta try. and finish up tutorial 12 to check answers too...if have time (in my fattest hopes) maybe can do a bit of past year paper. sighs...wonder what will happen to me tomorrow. hope i don't collapse halfway through the paper.

i'm outta here. thermodynamics here i come -- talk about heat and internal energy...ohh my poor head~

tell me that today's LS (lao4 sai4) paper was easy and i'll slap the daylights out of you. my reaction when i saw the first question was "huh..." consequently it was "huh...huh...huh...huh...huh..." till the end of the paper. something tells me i should have just studied for physics and ignored this rubbish. now i feel like a rock has hit my head how to start on physics? i honestly don't think one day is enough. i'm so in trouble.

finally got my metronome. so can get down to practicing my guitar. but believe it or not, i held my guitar and KO-ed on my bed. it's amazing. so i wonder if it's the studying that puts me to sleep but apparently it isn't...right?

it has recently kept occuring to me that deception and false images are more common occurances than we think. the truth may not always be known or come to be known. and often what we know are but images to the real truth...the "beautiful picture" or "perfect image". and not just in a narrow aspect.

i look at the bands i respect...and wonder how much of the track is played by them...then i wonder whose the guy who has came in to save the day/improve the track...and i believe this guy is a better musician than the people who actually form the band. yet he is one person whom we will never know. hmm...

ok nuff for today...so sleepy. i'm going back to sleep.

EG WAS RAWKING. had make up session today. DC was late...ok not late but he arrived just before class time (unlike ususally when he's there the entire day). so when he came i was falling asleep reading my lecture notes on the bench outside the studio. so he "OOI-ed" me. haha...so loud, so paiseh. anyways, the other class has merged with us making our class so big once again (the headache returns).

today we did full song for Sweet Child O' Mine. it's a LONG song and the rifts are all over the place. but i don't have time to jam this week...or do i? must master the solos asap. there's this kid (like i'm that old) whose pretty great. oh wells. new class new challenges. today was more of a theory lesson on amps and audio. things i learn in this class....no matter how lousy i feel, i'll always feel so happy after that.

i hope i'm not screwing up my physics grades for this lousy subject called life science or make that FE1004. it sucks. what crap. the notes are useless, the lectures are pathetic. i don't know...i just know it's totally not worth it. anyways, i really really have to bring up a few points that i TOTALLY DISAGREE with in the lecture notes. and i really really think they should have better brains than to state it like this.

...without "accidental changes" in the base sequence of DNA, it would not be possible...without the "acceidental changes" in base sequences, we (referring to man) would still be some primitive single-celled organism.

oh yeah? prove it. i'm offended. if you want to come from some primitive single-celled organism go ahead...please do not say "we". because i definitely didn't. even the existence neandetherals have been proven to be otherwise.

there are more...but i just looking at it makes me feel like tearing the notes apart. so never mind...you get the idea.

ok even if you want to state this, please do not state it as a fact of science. not everyone feels the same about evolution. and this is misleading. it's not justified for you to do so because it obviously violates the thinking of some...and given this country's religious and racial harmony, you're supposed to take a neutral stance and state facts as they are as well as state uncertainty as it is.

this is a decision for students to make about what they believe...so please do not mislead everyone into thinking it's a fact and something they should accept without question. so say i'm not a true scientist if i say this, but at least i'm sure of what i am and what i believe in...unlike you.

so to my fellow friends out there, read everything with a pinch (or make that a spoonfull of salt) EVEN lecture notes. gosh what's the world coming to.

i'm considering giving up a very important aspect of my life. sigh so many aspects...some side has got to give. think i don't have enough room right now, cos of the shift of my focus. want to narrow down the scope so that i do better in the few areas i choose to persue. it's hard but i have to do it...right?

ok so i'm freaked out after seeing the results i need to continue with my dreams. but is that wrong? so i have decided some side has got to give. don't make it seem like i'm making the biggest mistake of my life. don't continuously question my decisions. i know how to make them. and i only do after careful consideration. so after i'm done deliberating, i would appreciate it if you stop trying to convince me otherwise or start critisizing.

ok anyways, i have done absoultely nothing once again this weekend. productivity has been so terrible. maybe i'm not meant to be a mugger...or maybe i should just stop all other commitments. wait...is TV a commitment? probably...haha.

sigh life science keeps putting me to sleep. i've yet to continuously read a single set of lecture notes without dozing off...hmm it doesn't beat econs though (a single page.without dozing off). the ultimate was a single paragraph think in BOP. makes me think how i'm going to survive the week after next. exams please end soon leh!!!

today i met the most atrocious driver ever. don't let me catch her again anywhere on the roads, cos i owe her a piece of my mind. ARGH. stupid b*tch.

went to j8 after paper today for lunch at swensens. we were at the multi-storey carpark but couldn't find a lot despite going 5-6 laps (like playing daytona like that)...so decided to go over to the j8 carpark.

went down the road between the bus interchange and j8 -- the narrow, single-lane one where people always jaywalk. then at the end of the road had to turn right into the carpark. so waited at the stop line to turn right. as traffic rules state, i'm supposed to wait at the T-junction behind the stop line for traffic to clear (on my left and right) before i make the turn into the lane leading to the carpark. so i waited. then this stupid silver BM behind me kept horning. B*TCH. so i sort of saw an opportunity to turn (if the oncoming taxi from the left gave way). then i went forward. but he didn't stop and my turning angle couldn't clear the motorcycles parked in front -- i.e. i had to reverse and go forward again.

so when i was caught there and about to reverse, the stupid b*tch just turned and overtook happily cos i was blocking the flow of traffic for her. stupid woman...don't let me see you anywhere on the public roads. i'm so tempted to report her to the TP and i have her vehicle registration number (one that i won't forget for a while cos it's the first 4 numbers of JN's telephone number). yucks...how do this kind of people pass their driving. i'm embarassed and disgusted that people like her are able to get their license and drive on singapore roads.

don't know what goes on in these people's brains (assumption: they have brains in the first place). is it cos she saw that i was a P-plate so she bullied me thinking i'd dare not go even though traffic was clear? i bet you if it was her as the first car she wouldn't go either...or is it cos she doesn't know her traffic rules? either way, it shows the one same thing -- she's a sucky driver with no sense of judgement or perception and knowledge about the roads.

if i was thinking straight at that time, i should have just put on the hazard lights, pulled the handbrake, got out and went over to her and ask her what her problem was or even given her the finger. but i wasn't cos i was too hungry and only thinking of my food so i wasn't really thinking of revenge. the next idiot who does this kind of stupid thing to me will get it from me...a personal promise from me to you (whoever you will be).

yes i'm still pissed. 5531 don't let me see you ever again. esp parked illegally outside my house area...i swear i'll do you the favour of calling the uncle TP to come give u a summon. grrs. don't you ever dare think you can bully P-plate drivers. but then again, the way she drives, she's bound to get a summon real soon. argh.

did i mention today's EC paper was an ultimate screw up. aiyah whatever man, it's time to look forward.

yay! i'm so happy found a guitar stimuatior for me to practice till the cows come home (mooo). i may not even need to buy a metronome anymore (though portability is a question)! but what great timing...middle of exams guess it'll (i.e. the revision) will have to wait not like i'm doing much work in the first place. HAHA. the more i play the more i like this instrument going to dedicate a great part of my time to it. the more i think i want to reduce the number of commitments i have. cos the less commitments, means more time to jam~ i love jamming! hopefully one day will be good enough to perform. rather than just hide at home and jam to myself and the poor neighbours.

actually there's this thing that quite puzzles me. like...is driving by yourself after you just passed a very big deal? erm how do i put it? like...several people have been saying to me, "oh, you're so daring...after you just pass you can drive yourself already? and drive so far somemore? all the way to school?" is it that "daring" of me? and i know people who "don't dare" to drive even though they just passed their driving. hmm maybe it's just me...but in case you guys still don't know, i ENJOY driving ok~ haha...my new hobby maybe...it's not stressful at all (at least not anymore)

oh, and to jacq, i know u come here once in a while. so just post here before i forget. was talking to serene loh on msn...think we should have a class gathering (of some sort) soon? december hols? i don't know who to call...maybe just an informal dinner or something (steamboat?). what say you?

Creep - Radiohead

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

i sit and wonder why i don't work faster. usually i do. but i wonder why i didn't today. it cost me a lot you know? sigh, why. it always turns out like that. probably a lesson drawn from today...a very expensive (in terms of points) at that. gonna work faster for the next few papers. oh and for those who don't know, there are people who say today's paper was too easy. to protect these people, i shall not say who lest they be assulted the next time they appear in school. haha.

washed my car today...and i think i scratched it too. in an attempt to remove the crap from the paint i removed the coating of wax (i hope only the wax) too. SIAN. what a lousy day.

off to sleep...got match later. not sure if i'll be watching, it's a public holiday tomorrow afterall...rite?

today i played my EG till the string 1 snapped. yipes. cut my arm in the process...burning sensation felt so great. haha...i'm bian4 tai4-ly insane i know.

oh, saw the advert on the new coke with lime yet? it's contagious!

"put the lime in the coke, you nut...and drink them both up. put the lime in the coke, you nut and drink them both together. put the lime in the coke, you nut and then you feel better...woooo~"

i love this advertisement...oh, i like the tiger beer one too. suddenly a lot of nice adverts on tv sometimes more entertaining than the show itself. =X

ok lah...exam in a couple of hours. history in the making. i'm outta here.