so sad that there's no EG next week. haha DC kept saying "march 13...march 13...march 13...". now he owes us another lesson. probably going to return it to us in june...by which i'll be quite free.

anyways. today's EG was FUNNY...we were doing pick attack stuff again. which i admit is getting quite SIAN but it's alright i guess...afterall how sian can EG be rite? there was this part where i think it was 12th to 16th fret so it was a bit of a stretch. then DC was trying to tell us that each finger was to be used equally when playing lah...which is actually quite expected when you're playing any instrument rite...so ok. then he went on to say "see, i can do a lot of things with my small finger" then he played a lot of rifts for us showing emphasis on using the "small finger" to reach the faraway fret. then suddenly ray went "ya, and can do this also..." and dug his nose with his small finger. and we all couldn't stop laughing...seesh, surprised DC didn't kill him.

but this is more of a must-be-there-to-laugh-like-siao thing so yeah maybe it's not funny now...

we were commenting that DC's hair looks like cartoon now. and yes, some genius he was to wear a white T-shirt with THE INCREDIBLES logo on it...so just imagine...after 1 hour in that studio, all of us came out with a terrible stomachache.

so probably the break is good next week. rest my poor stomach muscles and make sure my jaw doesn't disloacate. seesh~

hi there...i'm just curious to ask...

any fellow nutcases want to go watch West Side Story with me?
i sort of think i REALLY need a break from all this logic stuff and do something arts for once.

but why do i say "fellow nutcases"?
well...firstly, tickets range from 38 bucks, don't think there's student concession but there's 10% off for UOB card members. so you know, if any of you are interested to watch PLEASE tell me! (even better if you have a UOB card)

and secondly...it's EXAM season. yes...i'm definitely a nutcase...we can watch it on a weekend or a friday night?

sigh...ok, so any other theatre production or concert will do...please please please?
can anyone tell that one half of my brain is dying here?

i'm tired. and feeling a bit sick. woah come to think of it i haven't felt sick in a while...i should just avoid this topic totally...hmm...

today i did nothing once again. getting up in the early evening. this cannot go on! the workload is already so heavy yet i'm so slacky...gosh.

at least i'm more or less done with my stupid chem...EXCEPT electrolysis. the rest i've kind of understood though i've yet to try out the tutorials. intend to do them on monday. yes...i'll be doing them on MONDAY. i.e. i don't or play less EG before class. which is realistically quite impossible. given the fact that i'm me and once i touch my guitar, there's no sign of me putting it down even if there's the biggest of biggest exams the next day. perhaps i should be consoled that i know myself.

as for accounting...think i have no choice but to s/u it. i mean...i don't want to screw my grades over some stupid stuff about ideals etc etc...there has to be a balance man...but i have not decided officially. when the time comes...i'll know? haha...so like real.

let's see...in my haste to get chem done this week i've forgotten that i actually have 7 modules...not 2. i have not touched physics, maths, computing and physics elect. in a WEEK. seesh. i don't want to imagine how rusty my brain will be on monday. eew...

honestly...i've not felt this before. is this stress? i mean...i'm SUPER behind time. perhaps i should be consoled by the fact that at least i AM AWARE of how behind time i am. but like it helps when i can't find much motivation to do anything about it. there definitely has to be a way to improve information input...rite?

had the weirdest dream last night/morning (my time is so screwed up). something to do with my pri school. i guess it's a sign it's about time that i should pay them a visit. i mean...i haven't been back in like years? sigh...it's so not like me. but the teachers i want to see have retired. there are others of course majority of whom didn't teach me. of course i want to see them to...but you know, i really find it sad that once my teachers retire i can't find them anymore...i don't know how to contact them...and i feel bad never having actually thanked them formally before because i didn't know that then would be the last time i would see them...or maybe it wouldn't...but i won't know... ...if you get my point. but of course, once again...IF i can just afford the time. and IF the security uncle would let me in. the last time i went back i was barred...and it makes me feel quite hesitant to even think about going back again. someone help? HJ? he said he got in without problems right? haha...ya as though i can expect help from there...aiyah...see lah. it's a thought i need to keep in mind.

i like walking out in the middle of the night. like...when i reach the road junction and the green man appears...all the cars stop...for ME. and i like it so quiet and peaceful when the bus stops are empty and there are no queues at the shops. i really do...but it sounds all so darn cliche.

let's see...what did i achieve today? i re-strung my entire...ok almost entire guitar. EBGDAE i re-strung EBGDE...all except the A-string i re-strung like 2 weeks ago. so i literally have an all new guitar now. which is so nice for pick attacking. wahaha...explains why i didn't do much academic work today. i was playing guitar for like the whole day. except when i was re-stringing. actually i really hope DC will give us some new piece to play this monday...i'm quite tired of assualting the strings already. to the extent that i need to replenish stock now...my guitar strings only left one pack. sigh...when you have no cash, everything seems to need to be replaced or restocked.

well...at least i finished my lab report. that's one major thing down. the others being revision for the various modules which i have mostly left untouched. wonder where my time went this holiday. somehow i can't seem to have enough rest...but always too much stuff to study.

oh wells now i'm going to watch some ice-dance on tv. feel quite sleepy actually. how am i supposed to finish electrolysis before i sleep tonight?...i wonder...

haha i've gone nuts. managed to sort of get U2's mysterious ways. think i just need the effects and i'll be more or less there. i fell asleep while reading chemical equilibrium. so decided to just leave it. what's new? everything induces sleep these days...ok, everything but guitar.

think i won't ask for much...don't need to play like jimi hendrix...the edge will do. think i've really gone over to the siao side. soon...once i'm more on par with my school work (probably in my dreams) i'll start reading up more on guitar theory and learn my music theory properly...SOON lah...don't rush me. i want to be able to improvise and play nice rifts. but i think it takes time. so have to slowly wait.

ronin is gigging at sn tmr. but i don't think i can go. although i'm free. i don't want to appear at that place any time before 11th march. sigh. it's an acoustic set anyway...don't really want to watch acoustic set as much as their actual songs played live. argh...someone please be my guitar mentor...

sigh to think i was supposed to be studying. my brain always sways to guitar...and i can't help it. erm on the bright side, at least i ultimately did finish chem eqm. haha...after one long and tortourous day. there's nothing to watch on tv anyway...sigh so boring. wonder if mrsT's free tomorrow...want to ask her explain the redox electrolysis thingy. where are all the jc chem students when you need them? not a single one online. grrrs. how long...will it take to catch up with my work. argh.

oh and did i say this? i think at the rate i'm watching/re-watching the U2 Vertigo tour, the DVD is going split into 2 soon. should go invest in other U2 concerts...they're a good band to watch live...super entertaining and high quality performances...no lip sync nonsense. wah yeah.

and so...98.7fm has ranked U2's top 10 songs of all time...i should have done it earlier...cos it was first broadcast on saturday evening but i was out with the SS gang...so i missed it. now i'm listening to the replay...so going to post this up.

cos U2 is the greatest band ever!!! not everyone wins 22 grammy awards ok~

Top 10 U2 Songs By 98.7 Ultimate
10. Sunday Bloody Sunday
9. Where the Streets Have No Name
8. Pride (in the Name of Love)
7. Beautiful Day
6. Mysterious Ways
5. Vertigo
4. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
3. Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own
2. One
1. With Or Without You

and there we have it...

won't call myself a U2 fan yet...cos i don't think i'm mad enough. haha...but they're truly my favourite and most respected band. esp the way the edge rocks his guitar...if only one day i can play like that...

as this week passes, i wonder how i'm going to make it thru the rest of the sem. there seems to be more studying than i thought there was...and i'm more behind time than i thought i was. it's not good at all. frankly i'm sick of telling people how i'm not going to be able to catch up...because it's not a matter of whether i can catch up...but it's more like i HAVE TO catch up.

i still got all this work to do...
i think i should sacrifice tonight's sleep. probably will put me on par with schedule...sometimes i wish i had 2 brains instead of the small one i have. too bad they don't sell them in sim lim...

2 more days...sigh. there's a limit to how info my brain can store per unit time. ARGH. someone tell me how to increase the capacity...

went back NY today. i realised i like going back there. because the security is much less hostile and everyone seems to be warmer. i'm not sure if it's because i go back much less often...but it's definitely a nicer and more sincere place to me.

talked to quite a few people...like mrL and GC. mrL always gives me a new perspective to what i'm doing. apparently he knows my physics elec. prof...that's interesting shows how small the cirlce is in a way.

as for GC, now that his role model is gone, he seems to be trying to take his place...and it's honestly not working. just that let's not say anything...haha. couldn't bear to laugh at him...but the effect just wasn't there.

EG today was fun as usual. we did some rock lead stuff. basically it's once again technical exercises lah. anyways, it was interesting sounding. can't wait to practice tomorrow. getting used to DC's new funky look. haha...anyways here's something funny...but has been bugging me ever since the conversation took place...cos i ran into DC at the food court in front of the drink stall after puting my EG back into my car after lesson...

DC: hey
me: hey
DC: having dinner?
me: ya supposed to. but not hungry leh...
DC: haha ok, i'm buying coffee to keep awake. so u still in school? (trying to start a conversation...)
me: ya...uni
DC: oh which one?
me: NTU
DC: orh...what course?
me: mechanical engin
DC: oh..so u finish NS?
me: eh? how come u need to buy coffee? it's already so noisy in there you mean you can sleep? (desperate attempt to change topic!)
DC: ... ... well, it's more of a mental thing...ok i gotta go (cos his coffee was ready)
me: orh ok see ya

now that i think back on it, i regret changing topic. should have settled it there and then. now if i drag, it'll be weirder the next time i tell him. so how do i settle this? ARGH! like i don't have enuff other stuff to worry about. grrs.

ok lah. i'm really too tired to blog. so going to see if i can get some stuff done...if not i'm going to sleep. sigh. can't believe it...monday's gone already.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=JacLee
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=JacLee
please help me do surveys for both links...thanks. seems like everyone is doing it so just though i'd try...heh.

it's the recess week. a break for most people, but not for me because i was taking a break the entire first half of the semester. so now, i've got to play this lousy game of catch up which i totally do not like. but do i have a choice? well...technically i do...just that if i don't, i'll just have to live with the screwed up grades i see at the end of this sem. but not that catching up now will ensure me the nicer more decent grades (just look at my phy elec. class!!!)...

let's see...on friday, i skipped physics lecture and left school early with jh to go to sim lim...why? i wanted to buy myself a new external HDD...before my poor com dies of exhaustion and memory overload. in the end i got myself a 80GB HDD for under $200 - not bad a deal if you ask me...i enjoyed a consumer surplus of around $50 which is really quite a lot. jh bought CDs and DVDs complaining about how heavy they were. but i didn't think so leh...

after that, we went to united sq for subway (LUNCH) at around 4pm. i was almost fainting from hunger. so i just ordered my cheese steak and swallowed everything at a speed i've never ate at before. haha...but i must say, subway is nice...oei jh, we should go united sq more often...but not along the way leh.

in the evening, a bunch of us went to chomp chomp for supper. ended up with only me and tong shou eating. rosa, val and tongshou2 apparently were too full for anything (then what's the point of supper?) but in the end they ate several satays while they watched in horror at how i finished my 1 plate of oyster omelette, 1 plate black carrot cake and half a plate of white carrot cake. don't mess with me when i'm hungry. wahaha...

saturday was fun too. in the evening i went for diner with the SS people. 4 of us...me, TH, SH and XC. went to fish&co dhoby gaut. nice...but a bit too much food (would you believe i just said that?). hmm i didn't have any trouble finishing the fish and chips (and proud to add, at a much faster rate than SH!! - wow even i myself was impressed) but felt really stuffed after which. we had fun suan-ing SH at dinner...about ah-hem. haha...why do these rumours last so long? unless they're truths but the really funny thing is XC was the one who brought it up. as they say, there's no smoke without fire. so...haha then again i rather not say too much, lest i get sabo-ed by someone. seesh these scandals...

after dinner we walked around PS to kill time before our 8:35pm movie. watched jarhead. not too bad...though i must say i expected WAY more action given it was a "WAR SHOW" as SH put it. haha...it was filled with vulgarities though...so yeah, that was pretty much about it.

today, i was at wheelock boreders looking for my physics reference books which i need in order to give myself the slightest assurance i won't fail my final exams at the end of the sem for phy elect. sigh...little did i expect i would be reduced to this desperate state of shopping at borders for reference material...but at least they had 30% discount...saved myself quite a significant amount of cash. phew. more consumer surplus...haha

now, i'm just rotting around. wondering if we'll be going back to NY tomorrow. the supposed crowd of 4 has been reduced to 2. and i am starting to wonder whether we should go back. we'll see i guess...but what the heck! i have EG in the evening!!! WOOOoooHOOooo~ can't be any happier...

and i'm so happy to have settled some things. human relations always tend to be so complicated. wonder why. so...at least now my brain is more at ease...because i know what's going on currently and what exactly we're doing. just please let this be the end of awkwardness between us...surely that's not too much to ask for...

ok off to read physics notes. to think i was planning to finish my lab report today. so much for planning in advanced. grrs.

I, I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together
We can beat them, for ever and ever.
We can be Heroes, just for one day.

I, I will be kingAnd you, you will be queen
Though nothing, nothing will drive them away
We can be Heroes, just for one day
We can be us, just for one day

I, I remember standing, by the wall
And the guns, shot above our heads
And we kissed, as though nothing could fall
And the shame, was on the other side
Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
Just for one day

i had lunch with levan today!! haha...and the entire Ronin...no one has any idea how terribly happy i am. i thought i wouldn't have the slightest chance of seeing them sice my lessons were continuous and i didn't have the time to drop by to see them. but my mid-sem exam ended earlier (or rather i made it end earlier than expected). afterall, how could i concentrate when one of my favourite local bands were doing their sound check downstairs?

managed to get the entire band's autograph for the do or die cd...but i didn't manage to catch them perform live. never hated my lesson this much before. if i t was any other lesson i would have skipped but i couldn't because it was LAB. the Suns were coming too and levan asked me to skip my lessons. i seriously would! but it was LAB...grr why couldn't it ave been just some stupid lecture or something of the sort? so i missed them performing live again...but at least it was consolation that i had the chance to eat lunch and talk to them over lunch. glad to know that they're really down-to-earth people who are really friendly...

anyways the worst part of this week is over and i came home only to KO on my bed. didn't even have the slightest bit of energy to jam. grrs.

ok...i need to get started on my graded tutorial which is due on friday. ah-hem note i said worst part of the week...i still have tons of work to do...ah well...the life of an overloaded engin student...

today's EG was fun...but it wasn't really the music that entertained us today. but DC's hair (or the great reduction in the amount of). actually it wasn't THAT bad, just that it was a drastic change from what we saw 2 weeks ago and what we've been seeing since we started knowing him. moreover it was so unexpected!

we all just walked into the studio and sat down without looking at him. and suddenly when we looked up and saw this weird unfirmiliar person standing there, i mean...of course our expressions would be priceless. man he should have told us he was going to get a hair cut and we would have taken before and after pictures with him! seesh.

the winner was of course ray, who came in slightly late (after all of us had sat down). he made his way to sit down without looking at DC. and suddenly, when e saw DC, jaw dropped and mouth was open so wide that that alone made us laugh like siao but no, after he managed to compose himself, he muttered "your head looks smaller". wow...talk about roll with laughter.

later DC made an attempt to explain his decision...
1. he wanted to look like us (i.e. i suppose meaning look younger)
2. he said he was having trouble mantaining his hair. saying he had trouble brushing it...

then the other ray had to say "oh, brush like pony". and we all really couldn't help but laugh till we couldn't stand it anymore. the whole lesson none of us could look up at him. cos the slightest smile would make the entire class burst out in laughter and we were already in stitches.

so much for fun. i'm now stuck because i have not started on physics for the CA tomorrow. talk about screwed. sigh. NO SLEEP TONIGHT...

due to the increasing number of people bringing up this topic (don't know why? probably a trend that comes with a certain age or something...) i wish to say that currently, i have no special interest in humans...so please stop bringing up this topic.

though i do find amusement to the trend in which suddenly everyone is talking about it. 'common man, to me even talking to humans for extended periods of time is tiring...so my lack of interest in humans is probably definitely going to last a while...somehow i cannot seem to be interested in things i don't understand. so my answer to all your (i.e. the people who have brought it up to me) questions is maybe until the day i can at least 70-90% understand humans (including myself) then say. so actually, i rather you tell me to kuai4 gao1 zhang3 da4 also. and by the way, my chinese is of a pretty decent standard ok?...oh what's the use...

darn i talk about weird stuff. haha. yes, jacW, u're right...i should prbably go to stay up in the mountains (pronounced like fon-tans i.e. mon-tans with accent and all)...actually i was thinking more along the lines of a hole in the ground...sometimes i want to start doing experiments to verify if i'm human. hmm by the way, jac you know what i'm talking about in the above 2 paragraphs right? i feel like i'm writing my blog for u to read only lor...and my tagboard is for u to have a conversation with me. i'm sure you agree...

anyway that aside, quite happy today. didn't really look forward to today because of accounting tut in the morning which was boring but didn't turn out to be as bad as i expected. then went to AMK to meet tong shou, jacW and R for lunch before we went to a certain dua3 pai2 person's house. ended up talking longer than expected, therefore neglecting my work once again. now i'm 2 days behind time and very worried.

though somehow now i'm starting to see through some things/people/myself and things aren't as...how shall i put it?...exciting? hmm...the same things don't bring me as much happiness as they do. now it seems harder to be happy. but think all i need to do is just take a break from myself and hopefully things will get better.

i always blog so generally. wonder how many people actually inow what i'm talking about. then again, i wonder how many people read my blog to begin with. but i somehow strongly believe those who need to understand what i'm saying will understand.

alright! U2 got a whole truckload of stuff at the grammys! so much for having a not so good time. at least i'm feeling happy for them. they deserve it. and i was watching them perform in the grammys. it's amazing. they sang One with Mary J blige. not bad at all. then the edge played in the finale...kind of disappointed he didn't sing though. but it was good enough at least i saw the edge play...

so i haven't been studying. the grammys lasted 3 hours ok? so tomorrow i got an imposible amount of catching up to do.

today for physics elect tut, we got back our homework set 2. i did quite much better than i expected. well...hope it'll be enough to cover the big screw up i'm going to have next wednesday. sigh. hope the scholars flush down the toilet or something, then maybe without the competition things will be better. seesh.

i really wanted to die today. when they announced that there would be physics mid-sem exam next week i really wanted to stand up and run towards the wall and bang my head on it. ARGH! all along i had thought mid-sem exam would be after the 1 week recess. now everything is cramped into a stupid week and i haven't exactly been coping well with my school work this sem. in a way, you can say it's one big slap on my face. sigh...maybe it's time i wake up.

so i am dreading the whole first half on next week cos of the number of tests. maths, phy and phy elect. maybe i should revise my target grades for this sem. i'm super tempted to S/u my accounting. we'll see...

i came home and decided to wax my car after i ate my lunch...because the alternative would be sleeping which i'm totally trying to avoid because it's addictive. so i went about waxing...and applied the wax. just as i finished coating the entire car, IT FREAKING STARTED RAINING!!! what's wrong with the weather? it was bright, hot and sunny a few seconds before and suddenly it started raining but it was still bright, hot and sunny. weird rain. even though it only lasted a few minutes, the damage was significant because the wax became all sticky and difficult to take out!!! seesh so much for wanting to do something productive. so tired now and so warm and sweaty.

another thing, i've watched i not stupid too TWICE. i like the show, esp the rap from the OST. i think it's realistic but no need to always portray the extremes...like not all teenagers join gangs although they may have their own problems.

ok off to watch tv and HOPEFULLY really HOPEFULLY get some work done. ARGH!

just please stop bringing up THAT matter...i'm begging you...all of you.

everytime they do it, my poor brain can't stop thinking. sometimes, it's not a matter of the solution being simple, or the issue being minor. it's just painful to remember THAT matter.
everytime i say the certain person's name...or someone else brings it up, it'll definitely link to THAT issue which is actually quite depressing...or should i say thought-inducing.

it's more of a matter of wanting to be sure (explains why i'm a science student) through real evidence or directly from the source itself. sigh. but i can't bring myself to the source...so that's my dilemma. get it? which brought me to my argument of whether the statement is valid and up to date. argh whatever. what's worse today it came from the last person i thought would bring it up. what's up man.

anyways if there was any day to buy 4D i think today was it...

in the morning i went over to mrsT's place for a CNY visit. i drove over, my original intention being to head to school for accounting lecture after that, but ended up staying later than i expected so didn't want to go in the end. so drove back while she drove her other ex-students to TP.

when i reached home i realised there was no lunch so i had to go out to TP to eat. i sms-ed her to check if she was still there cos if i could have the choice not to eat alone, why not right? but she replied me saying mrsL was there. by then i was already in the FC, halfway through my beef udon. so just told her i didn't see her. dropped mrsL a sms...saying that i was in the building but i was leaving soon so if i see her then see her lor.

after my makan i went to buy some brain food (wang wang cheese crackers AGAIN) and along the way i saw mrF with his wife and kids. seesh.

then went to the DIY shop to get some stuff (for vehicle mantainence). just as i had paid up and about to leave. when i really did run into mrsL. a few seconds later molly pass by. haha. hilarious i tell you. it simply HAD to be a conspiracy. seemed like a whole lot of people i know were in TP today.

ok, nothing else to blog about. i just read my accounting text to cover the stuff i missed today. i question my course of action this sem once again. grrs.

someone please tell me that this sem will be over soon. it's been a while since i dreaded my school like this. then again, i don't dread school. it's just tiring and draining...to the extent i no longer know what i'm doing. i'm demoralised when people in my tutotrial group are like getting full marks for everything. it's not exactly very encouraging to get 19/20. i wonder what those people eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

i got stuff to catch up on. a couple of physics tutorials, a couple of physics elective lectures, a whole bunch of maths lectures, another bunch of chem lectures and computing which somehow in the past few weeks i have come to neglect. grrr. looks like i have to be a 24-7 mugger. something i don't exactly enjoy. i don't want to be the kind of person having my face in my books 24 hours a day...it's not that i can't, but if i did it i simply wouldn't be me.

ok lah, i have to go out now. i don't want to be late...*yawn*

i'm utterly demoralised after today's physics elect. argh! i wish that my maths standard can reach that of the scholars. i salute these freaking inhuman-ness. argh! i'm lagging behind on work and it hurts to even think about it...

i got a physics test in 2 weeks time...bt on the bright side, i can see engin physics starting to overlap with phsics elect. wah yeah. hopefully it'll mean a more sparkling shiny concept for me.

i don't like blogging in school but i don't feel like doing anything now.

anyways wished i chose modules based on the grades i would get. so much for the so-called 'passion'. sigh.

if i said today's school was ok i must be kidding. maths was cham cos i only understood like 15% of the lecture. physics elect was bad because i kept falling asleep. think profL was wondering what was wrong with me. i sat in front row somemore. haha...but i was really very tired. the brain hasn't switched back to school mode yet.

lab...was great today because we had a good instructor. and the experiment wasn't tedious. just had to take readings and draw a single graph for the whole group.

sigh my day was so boring i have nothing else to say...good night.