i'm back to blog more afterwhich i'm going to SLEEP. think i deserve it (i.e. the sleep) today...
i think i feel better after today. somehow the trip back has cured my so-called laziness and depression. hopefully morale and efficiency will be directly proportional and i'll finally be able to get some stuff done.
well, i didn't get to see we know who because we know why...ok well, apparently i left school after making a mad rush to finish my lab. i think i've never done a worse practical...and i thought last week was bad. sigh let's not go there. and i ran across the school of mech eng, to the carpark...
why? cos tong shou told me we know who was still in school and there was a chance i might catch her. so my hopes were up and i was dashing...didn't wait for the lift, climbed from B4 where the lab was to 1st floor and then from 1st floor to B5. argh! any idea how terrible my legs felt after that? then i tried to get out of campus as quickly as possible...and then to AMK. seesh. i've honestly never flied so fast on the highway before. it was mad. continuously at 100kph on the extreme right lane cutting in and out of traffic just to get in front. and true enough, i made it back from boon lay to AMK in 18 minutes. 18 MINUTES ok! must be an all time record...BUT it still wasn't good enough...we know who left...without remorse still declaring she was going home to tang3 yi4 xia4. (tong shou and i concluded that the opportunity cost of waiting for me was to tang3 yi4 xia4 so in other words, i'm not even worth waiting for? heh...) nah, i understand how tired some people are rite?...
then again, i wasn't surprised. guess somehow deep inside i knew i wouldn't make it. part of me was just flying for the thrill. now i understand why people enjoy speeding despite the number of public service announcements on TV. i agree with tong shou and recently i keep coming back to the same conclusion that i shouldn't be too nice to anyone...because ultimately people being people tend to take things forgranted. but in this case...well...let's just say i should not keep my hopes too high and think too much (sounds all too firmiliar?) . just got to live for myself and make more decisions by myself for myself.
talked to msL...everyone seems upbeat about AV. keep encouraging me to go do more. in a way i don't want to be involved anymore but i think i may just be swept into start bothering again. i need some time to chill out...and i don't think i've been fair to myself enough yet...mrsC wanted me to organise a AVAlumni-return-to-school-thingy-day. and fix a day where we invite all the ex-AV people back. sigh...i think back and wonder why. i know the post thing doesn't bother me anymore but i still keep thinking back to it...like why should i bother when i wasn't even the head of my era. if you know what i mean. who am i and why should i be the one to bother. in the end i may just end up being taken forgranted again. but there's the other side of me whose willing to do it, although i know in the end it'll probably turn out a big failure...or somewhat of a failure.
my thoughts always conflict -- for those who have not realised. my brain is overworked...behind that 'calm and expressionless' facade. hmm...
i think i feel better after today. somehow the trip back has cured my so-called laziness and depression. hopefully morale and efficiency will be directly proportional and i'll finally be able to get some stuff done.
well, i didn't get to see we know who because we know why...ok well, apparently i left school after making a mad rush to finish my lab. i think i've never done a worse practical...and i thought last week was bad. sigh let's not go there. and i ran across the school of mech eng, to the carpark...
why? cos tong shou told me we know who was still in school and there was a chance i might catch her. so my hopes were up and i was dashing...didn't wait for the lift, climbed from B4 where the lab was to 1st floor and then from 1st floor to B5. argh! any idea how terrible my legs felt after that? then i tried to get out of campus as quickly as possible...and then to AMK. seesh. i've honestly never flied so fast on the highway before. it was mad. continuously at 100kph on the extreme right lane cutting in and out of traffic just to get in front. and true enough, i made it back from boon lay to AMK in 18 minutes. 18 MINUTES ok! must be an all time record...BUT it still wasn't good enough...we know who left...without remorse still declaring she was going home to tang3 yi4 xia4. (tong shou and i concluded that the opportunity cost of waiting for me was to tang3 yi4 xia4 so in other words, i'm not even worth waiting for? heh...) nah, i understand how tired some people are rite?...
then again, i wasn't surprised. guess somehow deep inside i knew i wouldn't make it. part of me was just flying for the thrill. now i understand why people enjoy speeding despite the number of public service announcements on TV. i agree with tong shou and recently i keep coming back to the same conclusion that i shouldn't be too nice to anyone...because ultimately people being people tend to take things forgranted. but in this case...well...let's just say i should not keep my hopes too high and think too much (sounds all too firmiliar?) . just got to live for myself and make more decisions by myself for myself.
talked to msL...everyone seems upbeat about AV. keep encouraging me to go do more. in a way i don't want to be involved anymore but i think i may just be swept into start bothering again. i need some time to chill out...and i don't think i've been fair to myself enough yet...mrsC wanted me to organise a AVAlumni-return-to-school-thingy-day. and fix a day where we invite all the ex-AV people back. sigh...i think back and wonder why. i know the post thing doesn't bother me anymore but i still keep thinking back to it...like why should i bother when i wasn't even the head of my era. if you know what i mean. who am i and why should i be the one to bother. in the end i may just end up being taken forgranted again. but there's the other side of me whose willing to do it, although i know in the end it'll probably turn out a big failure...or somewhat of a failure.
my thoughts always conflict -- for those who have not realised. my brain is overworked...behind that 'calm and expressionless' facade. hmm...
Beneath the noise, below the din,
I hear your voice, it's whispering,
in science and in medicine,
I was a stranger, you took me in...
posted by Jac. at 1:26:00 AM
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