i owe myself a post...so here i am again. feeling way better than yesterday.

i was very happy yesterday...compared to the last couple of lousy school days i've had. hopefully after yesterday, school will take a turn for the better cos i've complained my fill and a whole less stressed and wound up.

went to SN around 10am...everyone was late...i was delayed thanks to this irritating last minute request but never mind that. met tong shou at bball court and walked around, all the way up the specs stand and to the canteen then up to the hall and to the school carpark. and had an overview of what was going on. met R somewhere there and went back down to the bball court. met min2...and walked back up again. basically i think i walked around the school like 10 times plus minus...hmm...must have had a work out. and the sun was scortching ok...i sunburnt my TOE. (yes, please laugh).

CCM was there performing...and i stopped to look for a while, but got bored, then LH dragged me to watch mrI being dunked at the dunking area. afterwhich i bought some food from mrsT's daughter's stall cos she demanded requested i buy from her...which i did because since i went to their house so often i decided it was wise to not offend the small kid. then later, after hanging around more, went to hall to watch ronin concert. I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. is like one of the best rock concerts i've ever seen...it was technically the best, but they held back so much i think the real "full-uncensored" one would be the best i've ever seen. they rock the stage man! and their lead guitarist shawn lee is really good. it takes a lot to play like that. though it would have been better if levan could be heard more clearly. think the instruments crowded out his voice a little. so even if he did curse, no one would have heard him...haha.

then later met JL (my cousin -- relation more complex than that but i shall not go on further). finally got her hp number and told her if i spotted anyone she was looking for i would give her a call and tell her where to find him/her/it. hmm anyways, i soon met her again (near the end of the fair) and saw her talking to one of those people she wanted to meet. i decided to bring her to the SR to look for more of them...and partly cos i was so warm i wanted an excuse to go there to enjoy the A/C. on the way there, they told me what each place used to be...like how the SR used to be the sci lab before there was the new extension...and how the SR used to be in the admin block and there were a lot of new stuff like the windows at the staircases etc...very interesting stuff.

anyways, they (she and her friends - all her batch people) found who they were looking for and i stood around there with them talking to the teacher. erm...i got asked the question "they're 10 batches your senior...why are you with them?" almost 10 times. but never mind. it was nice to feel young and related to someone who was in the school so much earlier than me. don't ask why...i don't know either.

halfway thru, got spotted and called away by we-know-who. ended up going over and talking to her, abandoning my cousin. haha she asked if she taught my cousin before but nope. if she did i would have told her a long long time ago. spent the rest of the time complaining, suan-ing and talking rubbish to her and mrsT. yes, i had fun, seeing how they 'fire' each other.

and very importantly i heard what i needed to hear - if i cannot cope perhaps i should drop. somehow the stress on me has been released, and i feel like i can move at my own pace. which brings me back to the question i find me asking myself increasingly frequently..."WHAT'S MY REASON FOR TAKING A MINOR IN PHY?" i need to constantly remind myself that i should not be doing it for the wrong reasons. but that day, i really sat down and thought about it. because if say *reasonX*, really was my reason, i already had the...so-called 'permission' to drop it. but i realised it wasn't. and now i'm very sure. the only person giving me the pressure is ultimately myself. so when i really feel i can no longer cope...i will stop and give myself a break. yes. but in the meantime, i'm going to try to at least keep up. hopefully it'll get somewhere...